Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Norm of the North (2016)

A polar bear of many words, Norm's greatest gripe is simple: there is no room for tourists in the Arctic. But when a maniacal developer threatens to build luxury condos in his own backyard, Norm does what all normal polar bears would do...he heads to New York City to stop it. With a cast of ragtag lemmings at his side, Norm takes on the big apple, big business and a big identity crisis to save the day. (Source-Rottentomatoes.com)

*Note- For some reason, the picture I wanted to post up wasn't showing on my laptop or phone, so I had to delete it. Guess not even the internet wants another spot where they can see Norm of the North





I recently watched this after hearing an onslaught of hate it's been getting from other critics. I just had to know what was so horrible about Norm of the North, a kid's movie about a polar bear's efforts to save his home by traveling to New York City. 

From the trailer alone, the movie didn't seem all that spectacular. The animation looks poorly made and I think the ones working on it could have attempted to do a better job on making the characters either look more cartoony or realistic. The way they come off on screen just looks like the animators tried to do both at the same time and ended up with this unsettling and bland result. 

Aside from the appearance, the tone of the movie tries its hardest to be upbeat and relate to the young demographic by the creators using 'Shake it Off' by: Taylor Swift in their trailer and mentioning twerking and having the Polar Bear Norm and his minion Lemmings dancing every chance they get. This is always a bad mistake for movies to do because by trying to be 'relatable' it instead comes off as very dated and it won't be considered a timeless movie that everyone can understand in the later years. 

The main character Norm (Rob Schneider) was as stale as uncooked rice. He starts off wanting to prove that he's strong enough to become future king of his homeland, the Arctic. But next thing you know, he's off to save the Arctic from being inhabited by humans and the whole first part of him wanting to prove himself worthy of being king isn't mentioned until the very end. I felt like these two stories for Norm didn't coincide well with one another and his personality wasn't able to truly shine. He was used as a voice of propaganda, every other sentence he would talk about how important it was to save the Arctic, this talk gets very tiresome after a while. I felt like I was watching a childish version of An Inconvenient Truth than a movie meant for kids.



The other characters didn't fair much better; they either had one dimensional personalities or none at all. Busy business woman Vera (Heather Graham) and her daughter Olympia (Maya Kay) while they weren't awful, I don't think I'll remember them in a couple of weeks. The mom's defining trait is that she's a busy bee and Olympia is as smart as Einstein. Their relationship to Norm isn't even that developed, by the end of the movie they grow very attached to Norm but I'm not sure why. Norm was simply Vera's client and Olympia spoke to Norm only once before literally snuggling up to him and being best friends. What makes this relationship even more creepy is that throughout the entire movie, the mother-daughter pair-as well as the entire city-never realize that he's a real bear. Thus, far as they know, Olympia is snuggling up to a grown man whom she only encountered once! I know Norm was working with the mom, but stranger-danger much? 

As a side note, I did enjoy listening to Vera and Olympia's voices. They're voice actors do have sweet and pleasant voices so when they spoke it wasn't horrible to listen to.

Now onto the villain of the movie, the wacky and diabolic named Mr. Greene (Ken Jeong) he's just as I described him: wacky and (sarcastically) diabolic. He's behaves in such a childish manner, it's not even funny and his antagonistic plan that began the main plot doesn't even make sense in the first place. He wants to make homes for people in the Arctic. I do not think I need to explain how stupid of an idea that is; even by cartoon standards. 

The last characters I will speak about, those three lemmings. Aside from one joke I genuinely laughed at at the beginning of the movie when the herd of Lemmings sang heavenly music, these lemmings were the most annoying things I've ever had to listen to for an hour and thirty minutes. These little things wouldn't stop squeaking and that may be cute to some, but it sure wasn't to me. It gets annoying very very quickly and it's like a drill was functioning in my brain, silently turning inside and scrambling my brains from the incessant squeak-squeak-squeak. 

I'd take minions over them any day, and I don't even like the minions either!



What else can I say about this movie but...it was awful. I'm not even swayed by anybody, this is my honest opinion. I would not recommend that you bring kids to see this movie. Why? Because of everything I just said and the worst problem that I've yet addressed...even with all of these problems, there could've been a slim chance that Norm of the North could have passed as a mediocre movie, if it weren't...so....BORING.

I can't tell you how many times I looked away from my laptop screen contemplating whether I should take a nap or not, how many times I scrolled through social media on my phone while Norm was talking, it couldn't keep my attention for long and I doubt it would do so for children. It was an overall snoozefest that is not even worth a rental. 

Stay away from this movie.

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