Critica traducida en Español (se aproxima!)

Este post es breve para anunciar que de hoy en adelante voy a publicar traducciones en Español junto a mis críticas en Ingles. Me parece que será un adelanto en mi blog ya que más personas podrán leer mis trabajos. Personalmente, me ayudará porque escribir en español más a menudo desarrollar mis conocimientos en la lengua.

Perdonen si mi español no es gramáticamente correcto. Planeo hacerlo mejor a medida que siga practicando.

Gracias por la atención que mi blog ha recibido hasta ahora. Me complace saber que puedo usar mis escritos para iluminar sobre algunas de las peores y mejores películas que se han presentado. Lo único que lamento es que yo no he publicado tantas críticas como esperaba debido al trabajo de la escuela y la vida familiar. Intentaré ser más veloz en publicar más comentarios que los hechos hasta ahora.

Spanish translated reviews (coming soon!)

This post is to briefly address that from now on I will publish Spanish translated reviews alongside my English ones. I find this to be an advancement in my blog since more people would be able to read my work and personally, it will help myself in that writing in Spanish more often would further develop my knowledge in the language.

Please excuse me if my Spanish is not exactly grammar correct or is spoken incorrectly at times.
I plan to do better on this.

I appreciate the attention that my blog has received so far. It makes me very content to know that I can use my writing to enlighten you on some of the worse and best movies that have been released all around. My only regret is that I haven't posted as many critiques as I had hoped due to school work and family life. I will try my best to be swifter in producing more reviews than I have done thus far.

P.S. There will be a Spanish version of this note in another post.

ABCs of Death Review (2013)

ABCs of DEATH REVIEW

The ABCs of Death. I have passed over this title many times while browsing through Netflix and I always promised myself that I would watch it.

That was promised a long, long time ago.

It wasn't until I read a comment on a friend’s profile a few weeks earlier about how disturbing this movie was that I actually dedicated my time to watching this two-hour anthology horror comedy.

This movie presents twenty-six different stories created by twenty-six very diverse directors. Each were given a letter of the alphabet and with that letter, they were given free will to develop a story that related to that letter and revolved around death.

Sounded creepy enough, so I intended to get a good scare out of it.
Turns out I bit off more than I could chew.

To have it simply put, the ABCs of Death gave me two hours of perplexing plots, frightening imagery, and an all-around bizarre production. These directors took their given alphabet and threw caution to the wind. I didn't know whether to give them props for having to guts to go to the extreme or question their sanity since they were the ones to think of such things.

It’s difficult to really describe what goes on through the film, but think of it like this: As you get deeper into the layers, it becomes more and more painful and uncomfortable to go through. I swear to you, I even had to stop the movie halfway through and watch the rest the next day. It was too much insanity to observe in one go.

I searched on the internet for ratings and Rotten Tomatoes gave this movie a score of 35%. The site posted, “As is often the case with anthology films, the ABCs of Death is wildly uneven, with several legitimately scary entries and a bunch more that miss the mark.”

This film is definitely not one to watch with the family. It contains gore, sexual content, and vulgar language. Young children and those faint of heart are advised to stay away from this movie, for it is very disturbing and even traumatizing.

However, if you’re curious as to what could possibly be so bad about this flick, you could check it out on Netflix for free and enjoy the nightmares you will no doubt have.

Once you watch it, you will understand why it’s so hard for me to go into details on how strange it is.

My rating on it? I’d give it a two and a half. It felt jumbled and had no solid objective other than to tell its morbid tales. Perhaps that’s all the directors wanted from it, but that doesn't mean it’s a good idea to go with.

P.S. I also checked on the internet that this movie has a sequel to it. ABCs of Death 2. What could the new stories present that hasn't already been shown?

Also, some fun facts for you. Story wise, I did like some tales in the movie. The letters I, J,N, and S were my personal favorites.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick to save the city and unravel Shredder's diabolical plan (Summary from Movieweb.com)

It all started with a bet.

Months ago, I was watching the very first trailer for this movie with my eldest brother. Both of us being fans of the old show, our minds couldn't believe that a new movie would arrive soon to our theaters. Especially one with such amazing graphics and action scenes. I was skeptical about the new design of the turtles, but I figures it would pass. What I couldn't stand however, was two things:

Michael Bay & Megan Fox

Watching a number of Bay's movies and Fox's acting ability taught me this: this would be a bad movie. Even worse, Fox would be the one to star as the female lead, April O'Neil. If I could remember correctly, in the cartoon April didn't have long dark hair...

As for Bay, he's all about explosions and lack of good story writing, which is one of my favorite components to a movie. I could never trust him to care for any movie without throwing it down the sewer.

It was from all these cons that I proclaimed that this new TMNT movie would be a disaster. My brother begged to differ, he still thought it'd be an awesome film.

The only way to settle this bet was to watch the movie together.

After seeing the movie, has my standpoint changed?
To my surprise....yes...in a sense!

There was no doubt about it, in the film, they definitely screwed up the background for the turtles, Splinter, and April. The turtles became mutant by landing in toxic waste, not through text experiments. Splinter was a human before he became a rat. And April, again, looked nothing like Megan Fox and Fox keeps pretty much one expression throughout the whole movie, squinted eyes and mouth agape. No emotion whatsoever.

Lastly, I spotted a couple things that didn't make sense. Like this, whenever you see the movie, notice how NYC is all sunny and has nice weather, but in another setting that they go to it's incredibly snowy? Can someone explain how this is possible? How far were these places apart from one another?

Anyways, even with all of that, I have to say that the good outweighed the bad, in a sense. The story was all around cliche to me, but in a fun type of way. It was like watching the cartoon, but in real life. And with a different April O'Neil (still not over that) The turtles themselves were unique as they should be, and each expressed something about themselves that had me enjoying their screen time all the more. The bond that the four shared was explained well and shown through their actions and the time you see them growing up together. You see the love they have for one another and their sensei, Splinter. Their time together was much more interested than the humans.

The dialogue between the character seemed realistic to me, not too cheesy. And surprise surprise, not a lot of explosions from Mr. Bay. At one point I even forgot the movie was directed by him. Bravo.

I was invested in the movie and I shared a lot of laughs with the viewing audience (Thanks to Michelangelo mostly) and it you can get past the botched back story, Megan Fox's acting, and the cheesy plot, I think anyone of any age would enjoy this cartoon turned flick.

So technically, I lost the bet on whether it'd be a bad or good movie. It doesn't matter to me though, I had a good night watching the turtles on screen (plus, we never betted with anything in the first place)

Don't expect the film to follow everything, and if you could get past that, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will possibly be a 4 out of 5 stars for you.

Transformers 4 (2014)

In the devastating aftermath of the fight for humanity, an enigmatic group strives to alter the course of history as an ancient force of evil plots the destruction of mankind. 
(Summary taken from Fandango.com)

Transformers 4 seems to have an early, eager audience ready to see it. In spite of the negative feedback that the franchise has been given over the years, mainly over its director Michael Bay and his love for huge explosions, there are still many who have faith that Age of Extinction will blow their minds.

Their faith may falter after witnessing the ‘meh’ performance I witnessed last night.

There was a lot of action and drama to keep my attention. There are robots in serious combat with one another, how could you sleep during that? However, there were more problems with this movie than there were praises.

The explosions are the main issue over why Michael Bay films get a bad rap, and in this movie, it was a bit much, but I wasn’t that upset over it. What I was really upset over was the writing. Certain scenes just didn’t make sense. If you’re planning to watch this movie, pay close attention to what the characters say. I found myself questioning why someone would say this and that, or what purpose it brought to the plot.

In addition, a small complaint I had was the product placement. During the climax of the film, you will definitely spot some major products displaying themselves in this flick. I don’t even think I need to tell you where it appears; you’ll just know. 

The characters were bland and I did not find myself cheering for their survival either. I found them highly annoying. They were unlikable, even when they were doing heroic things they always had something to say or do to ruin that moment. 

Personally, my least favorite character was the daughter of Mark Walberg’s character, Tessa. There are times where she can was so disrespectful and useless to the plot that I just wished they didn’t put her in the movie in the first place.

I didn’t blame the actress; I thought she was okay and could do better. The script is what brought the movie down; it didn’t really make sense and I feel bad in a way because Transformers 4 should be spectacular if it has humongous robots!

Again, the movie was ‘meh’ in a sense that it wasn’t that bad or good. It will entertain children and those who love action, but for others who also care about the story may have a hard time liking it. 

Should you watch it? Eh…if you want, but I didn’t feel like I watched an awesome movie. I certainly didn’t clap for it. 

All in all, out of five stars, I’ll give it a two and a half.

Neighbors (2014)

An immature couple with a newborn infant go to war with the fraternity that turns their once-peaceful neighborhood into party central in this outrageous comedy of one-upsmanship
(Summary taken from Fandango.com)

I don't mind seeing silly movies because I can be easily amused by some of the most miscellaneous humor. So it wasn't a problem for me to choose this R-rated comedy as my entertainment for Father's day. And to be honest, it was the first movie that I have ever walked out from.

Yup, you read that right...

I walked out of the cinema because that movie was absolutely horrendous!

I was very disappointed in the film; it's like it was insulting my humor. As if I could laugh at every sexual joke they threw my way. That was one of the many reasons why I couldn't stand Neighbors. It didn't give me a break with its jokes, none of them brought out a good laugh from me. The delivery was expected; I knew what they were going to say before it even came out of their mouths. I can tolerate puns as long as the delivery is correct and it has some point to the story. Neighbors just said stuff to say it and expected me to find that oh-so clever!

The pace of the movie felt slow too. There was no well paced development to the story. When I was watching one scene where the couple was plotting how to get back at the fraternity, I was interested until they trailed off to some random occasion in their lives that had nothing to do with the plot whatsoever. And it dragged on and on before they finally referred back to their revenge plan; but by then I wanted to get revenge for whoever created the film's script.

Speaking of that, the final and biggest reason I left was the script or AKA the story. The story is what got me to buy the tickets in the first place. But I couldn't tolerate how stupid these characters were. Granted, not everyone in a movie would be clever enough to get out of tough scenarios likes others would. And, this is a comedy so what did I expect?

For it to be a good comedy, it has to have SOME realism!

I despised the couple due to their parental skills and stupidity in general. For instance, when the frat boys arrive, they are clearly see as the type of group the pair wouldn't want to hang out with since they just had a newborn baby. But what does the couple do to greet their neighbors? They try to act 'cool' around them and offer them weed.

The film did mention how the couple didn't want to feel old and still wanted their freedom, but still, anyone with sanity would not bring their child near that frat's home. And anyone who cares about their child would not then leave their baby alone to go party all night with the neighbors (they never mentioned a babysitter, so I'm guessing this is a plot hole) The frat boys were just as bad at how they harassed the couple, but they kind of have an excuse. They're teenagers who want to have fun, they don't care about adults or rules. So I'm being very harsh on the couple because I like comedies that bring struggles to a character that didn't ask for it. That's what makes it funny, because you understand they're going through and as much as you find it hilarious to look at, you still wish for that character to get out of their predicament. In Neighbors, I felt like the couple just ASKED to be harassed, because they're negligent parents, way too immature, and are not relatable at all.

This is just a summary of why I left the movie, Neighbors is one of the worst films I have ever seen in 2014. And that's saying a lot, considering all the stupid movies I've seen in the past.

To conclude, would I recommend this movie to anyone? Not unless your cinema serves alcohol, because you'll definitely have to have some in order to enjoy it. Should you buy it on DvD to find out if what I'm saying is true? Best choice is to watch online, it'll save you money. My rating? As bad as it is, I don't think it's the worst thing out there. But it's still pretty bad so...one out of five

Welcome to my Blog!

Welcome to my blog site! 

At this point, I will mainly focus on creating movie reviews.

This was a project I have been interested in for quite some time, and I will attempt to bring you a review at least once a week. When I become more advanced in this area, I will likely post more often. For now however, I am simply a high school student that is intrigued in the work area of creative writing and will peruse that curiosity by trying my hand at studying the art of film. I could review anything that interests me, whether it be comedy, horror, animated, foreign, etc. I will also take requests for movies you want me to talk about and I will do my best to get around to them.

This will be an interesting blog to read upon, since I plan to have my knowledge grow by practicing my writing skills. Have a good time reading!