Fifty Shades of Black (2016)

This spoof from the Wayans Brothers parodies the ultra-popular novel/film series Fifty Shades of Grey (Source- Rottentomatoes.com)

Fifty Shades of Black Trailer- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1pOTTcdRO8

NOTE: THIS REVIEW IS ON A PARODY OF A MOVIE. AN IMITATION TO AN ORIGINAL PIECE. SOME THINGS I DESCRIBE BELOW WILL REFERENCE TO THAT SOURCE MATERIAL. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 'FIFTY SHADES OF GREY' THEN YOU MIGHT BE CONFUSED WHILE READING THIS REVIEW. PERHAPS CHECK OUT MY REVIEW ON THE ORIGINAL FIFTY SHADES BEFORE READING THIS ONE. THANK YOU.

It's sad when you expect a movie to be bad, especially when you know the plot could've had so much potential, but when I saw that Marlon Wayans was the driving force behind Fifty Shades of Black, I knew I would watch a disappointment.

I don't hate Marlon Wayans, but I know he could do so much better than what was implemented in this film. I've seen his brilliance in older films like the first two 'Scary Movie' parodies, 'Don't be a Menace', and even his acting in 'Requiem for a Dream.' I'm sure he knows what's good and what's hilarious to the audience, but his more recent parody movies such as Haunted House 1 & 2 consists of the same erratic and nonsensical humor that isn't even classified as funny but more annoying and repulsive to watch.

Before I continue on my rant, let's dive into the storyline of Fifty Shades of Black.

As the title presents, this film is an imitation of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey and it jokes about its major issues that people had with it, including its misrepresentation of the BDSM, the strange dialogue (e.g Christian demanding Ana to eat), and how it expresses itself as more of a pornographic film rather than a well constructed plot.

A parody is meant to make fun of the original film or films they center on, however, this parody in particular is more likely to receive a ton of hate from viewers because the style of humor used wasn't funny, not to me.

The story is basically the same from the original: A meek and shy college student interviews a successful businessman, and that plants the series of events that turn the main character's life upside down. This time, the female lead is called, "Hannah Steele" (Kali Hawk) and the male lead is called, "Christian Black"(Marlon Wayans) 

These two have absolutely no chemistry together, as characters nor as actors. I feel like the jokes were mostly about how bland and ugly Hannah was and how creepy Black was. Now the original Christian was creepy in several ways, but there are many fans of the books and film that can take away charm from that character. If Christian Grey's personality was awful, he made up for it with his looks and...other things involving the bedroom. Christian Black on the other hand never charmed me or showed any qualities that might persuade Hannah to be with him.

His behavior was very diverse, and not in a good way. He would go from boisterously laughing at Hannah for falling in front of him, to acting calm and collected, to yelling at Hannah to speak up. Plus, there are some jokes involving Black having less than average private parts that are enough to make women laugh at him for it and he runs off crying in embarrassment.

Which brings me to another topic-continuity. Despite this being a parody, it should still make sense to the story-plot wise.

Here's what I mean: I just said that Christian Black is known for not being well-endowed and to add on, he is proven to not be a good lover at all. With that in mind, why in the beginning of the movie, does his assistant brag about how wonderful he is in bed and is proud of being one of his many side women? How does he still have side women when they obviously seen what he lacks?

It seems like I'm forgetting a key reason for all of this, which is that he is a successful billionaire-but even that, the movie screws up! Right from the get go, the audience sees him stealing money, clothing, and a car from people. Why does he need to do that if he already has that and more? A joke about Christian Black stealing things would only work if that's how he started his business; not if he already has a business. If anything, he is a substitute for the business until the real owner shows up, because there is no reason he should be taking money from people that he already has in the bank!

Gathering all of this information up, I could not find any redeeming quality to Christian Black and I do not see how Hannah Steele could fall for him. If I could've helped with the character, I would've made Christian Black just as suave as Christian Grey was. They could leave in tiny glimpses of his true character, like forcing her to eat. Perhaps a scene where she refuses to eat and he gives her an evil glare with threatening music in the back demanding her to Eat and when she does, he grows calm and suave again. That would be a little funnier than him slamming her head onto the table and then being calm. I don't know, that's just me. Now onto Hannah Steele.

Hannah was just okay. Black and many side and minor characters continuously pointed out her flaws and passed it off as jokes. I could only appreciate a few mean spirited jokes before it becomes sad. Hannah was the punching bag behind most of these jokes, though I do admit that her personality was bland and there was not much depth to her; just the typical shy and nice young adult.

Then again...I must give the character credit, once her and Christian got together, the jokes I didn't appreciate until starting this review was how open she was with Christian about her own sexual kinks. At one point, she complains about why there aren't any genital clamps in the contract (a list of things allowed during their relationship) and Black is pleasantly surprised by this. Another part was right after that scene, where Hannah allows him to have many side women while they're together. The way those jokes came across made me laugh, because it makes you see how crazy Hannah is-almost as much as Black.

The other characters in the movie weren't much to talk about. Hannah's friend, Jesse (Andrew Bachelor/King Bach) wasn't so funny to me. His schtick was how he would say something sexual to Hannah and when she'd ask what he said, he'd reply with something innocent. Nothing much to say about it really, I didn't care for him. Now someone I could really complain about is Hannah's other friend and roommate, Kateesha (Jenny Zigrino) who I found less appealing than Black. She was the walking embodiment of the white ghetto girl trope and it was clearly overly exaggerated. She had multicolored hair and clothing and always spoke about how many guys she's slept with in vulgar language. I got no laugh out of her.

Notice I'm speaking more about the characters rather than the story, because practically every moment was taken out of the original Fifty Shades (with a few movie references thrown in like Magic Mike for example) Although, at the end of the film, all I'll say is that the ending to the original Fifty Shades is not the same to the parody. The parody continues on with the story and that's not a problem, but after watching the characters in all their stupidity (in a bad way) I hoped for it to end off quicker than it did.

If you didn't know by now, I didn't like this movie. When I would laugh, it would be meek and low because it wasn't a laugh that took breath out of me when I witness a hilarious scene, but rather one where I either was shocked at how stupid it was or I felt bad for not laughing in a while.

I remember loving parody movies and watching them again, I still crack up at them. I don't think that because I'm older I'm losing interest in comical humor, because I could laugh at the dirtiest and most inappropriate things, if delivered right. Throwing naughty jokes left and right doesn't equal genuine happiness.

I feel like these writers and directors are getting smug, they think that just because a famous name is placed in a parody, that the audience will automatically love it and rave about it the next day.

This isn't the case people, please return to good comedy.